Ceremony Music Confusion

There's a saying:  Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups. (That's the polite version!)

Nowhere is this more true in at a wedding than when people make assumptions about when the ceremonial music should start.  The troubles lie in the space between the PRELUDE music and the BRIDAL PARTY PROCESSIONAL.

During that time, various things can happen. Depending on the bride and groom's religious or ethnic custom:

• the officiant might enter (if he's not already at the altar);
• the grandmothers and mothers might be seated (which might involve groomsmen doubling as ushers);
• the groom might enter (if he's not already at the altar);
• the groomsmen might enter before the bridesmaids (rather than being paired with bridesmaids for the processional).

Here's where assumptions are all over the map: WHAT music, if any, is playing during those moments?


Some people assume the prelude music should continue during those moments.

Some people assume there is silence. The prelude music ends, and there's no music until the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle.

Some people assume there is a separate song to be played for one or more of these moments (e.g,. a song for seating of the mothers).

Some people assume that whatever song has been selected for the bridal party processional should start playing during these moments (even though the bridesmaids themselves haven't yet come in).

And the funny thing is, everyone who makes one of these assumptions also assumes that "their" way IS "the way." 

With years of experience as a wedding DJ, and providing music for people of various religions and ethnic backgrounds, I have concluded that the ONLY way to handle this correctly is:  COMMUNICATION, not assumptions.  I talk with the bride and groom in advance, and discuss with them exactly who will be walking down the aisle, and in what order, and what music (if any) should be played in the moments between the end of the prelude music and the processional of the bridesmaids!

Whether you're using a DJ or live musicians for your ceremonial music, I strongly suggest you do the same.