"How many songs should we pick?" - Part 3

This is the third and final part of a 3-part article about how many songs you, the wedding couple, should pre-select for the general dancing portion of their reception.

As discussed in part 1 and part 2, my advice is: give your DJ as much GUIDANCE about the dance music as you want but keep your "MUST-PLAY" list to a reasonable length. That means leaving your DJ with considerable discretion to play a variety of music aimed at keeping the dance floor filled.

But what about your very valid concern that if you give the DJ too much discretion, he'll play music you DON'T want to hear?

There's an easy answer to that. In addition to telling the DJ  the music you LIKE, tell him what you DON'T like. In fact, feel free to give him a "Do Not Play" list.

Some clients don't realize they don't have to micromanage the DJ's playlist to avoid songs they absolutely don't want to hear.  If you don't want line dances like the "Electric Slide" played, just tell your DJ. If you want to steer clear of gangsta rap or any hiphop you find offensive, instruct your DJ accordingly. Not a country music fan? Tell your DJ to avoid it. Don't want to hear play "Brown Eyed Girl" because you associate it with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Just put it on your "Do Not Play" list.

Think of it like the food. If you're allergic to peanuts,  you'd just tell the chef to not to use peanuts -- you wouldn't have to specify every ingredient in his recipe.

One final nuance: When compiling your "Do Not Play" list, tell your DJ whether these are to be avoided EVEN IF requested -- or whether they're not to be played UNLESS requested.

You never know what your Aunt Sally or Uncle Bob might come up to your DJ and request; it could be one of those line dances you're not fond of!  After compiling a "Do Not Play" list, go through it a second time and see if you could tolerate any of the songs if a guest asks for them, or whether your DJ should deflect requests for them under any and all circumstances. As your DJ, I will honor your decision either way.

"Tips for Hiring a Wedding DJ" - new video on YouTube

Months in the making, and finally up and running: the Good Note DJ YouTube channel. I uploaded the first video yesterday.

It's about three minutes long. The title is "Tips for Hiring a Wedding DJ." Click here to view it on YouTube.

I hope you'll not only watch it but also rate it, leave a comment, and pass it along to others via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, or email -- all accessible directly by clicking on "Share" right below the YouTube video window.

You can also subscribe to the GoodNoteDJ YouTube Channel -- more videos are in the works. Forthcoming topics: "What Can Go Wrong at Your Wedding with the Wrong DJ"; "Ways a DJ Can Personalize Your Wedding Reception"; and "Ideas for Cocktail and Dinner Music at Your Wedding".

I wrote and produced the video. Videography is by Rob Burdette of Thomas Bowen Films. The wonderful opening animated sequence is by my old friend Dick Bangham of RipBang Pictures. Thanks to these consummate professionals for their hard work and creativity.

"How many songs should we pick?" - Part 2

This is part 2 of a 3-part article on the wedding couple's selection of songs played during the general dancing portion of their reception.

Part 1 explained why you should give your DJ as much GUIDANCE about the dance music as you want but keep your "MUST-PLAY" list to a reasonable length.  This part explains why.

If you give your DJ too many “must-play” songs for dancing, your DJ ends up having to “DJ by checklist." Here's what's wrong with DJ'ing by checklist.

• A good DJ plays songs that flow well together, taking into account the tempo, the style, and even how the one song ends and how the next one begins. This helps keep the dance floor filled. If he’s DJ’ing from a checklist, you’ll hear more abrupt transitions between one song and the next, which disrupts the flow of energy on the dance floor.

• A good DJ reads the crowd and adjusts his set lists based on the responses he's getting on the dance floor. DJ’ing from a checklist means reading a piece of paper, not reading the crowd.

• A good DJ tries to fit in some songs requested by your guests right there at the reception. When your parents, your siblings, or your dearest friends go up to the DJ and request a song they really want to dance to, do you really want him to say "No" because his playlist is already set in stone?

• A good DJ, with hundreds of events under his belt, knows all sorts of sure-fire dance music that you, the wedding couple, might not have thought of.  You may know a lot of music, but chances are you don’t know all the musical nooks and crannies your DJ does. Do you really want to pay a DJ to NOT utilize his expertise?

Here are some other things to think about when considering how many "must play" songs to give your DJ for the dancing period.

Sometimes, the most fervent compilers of “must play” lists are guys who are avid listeners but not big dancers. Ladies, do you want your DJ to be playing your hipster husband’s favorite obscure indie bands that he likes to listen to rather than the songs your bridesmaids and girlfriends want to dance to?

Isn’t it fun to have an element of surprise and spontaneity at your reception? If nearly every song during dancing is one you’ve preselected, you’ve eliminated those sparks of surprise and spontaneity.

Your DJ, if he's good at his job, WILL incorporate a LOT of the music you specify but will mix it with other music that seems right for the occasion. If you don’t have confidence in your DJs judgment, or doubt your DJ’s commitment to incorporate your favorites while also satisfying your guests's varied tastes, you should hire a different DJ!

Still not convinced? In part 3 of this series, I’ll reveal a tactic that will greatly increase your confidence in giving your DJ discretion for the dance music while addressing your desire to shape his music selection.

A memorable, snowy wedding!

Saturday, February 6, 2010 set snowfall records in Washington DC. Over two feet. The nation's capital shut down. People called it "Snowmageddon."

Yet, that was the day of my client Barb McCuen and David Jones' wedding -- and the wedding took place. The ceremony at All Souls Unitarian Church on 16th St in NW DC; the reception at St. Francis Hall in NE DC (near Catholic University).

The Sunday Washington Post carried a story about it: "D.C. couple doesn't let blizzard get in the way of wedding."

The Post reporter didn't accompany the guests across town to the reception hall, so she didn't get to see how I rocked the house when the dancing began. But that's okay. The 100 guests who made it had a great time. And yes, I played "(It's a Perfect Day for a) White Wedding".

To beat the snow, the caterer and I dropped off all our equipment a day early. (And we left the equipment there at the end of the night, with plans to pick it up within a few days, when road conditions improved.) Friends of the bride with snow-worthy vehicles helped ferry guests (and me, I might add!) to the reception hall. So many people worked extra hard to meet the challenges posed by the blizzard.

What made it worth it all for me personally was at the end of the night, the bride was so effusive in her thanks, telling me "All I'd ever envisioned and hoped for at my wedding celebration was that everyone would be dancing and having a great time, and you made that happen!"

Kudos to Xhemil and rest of the crew at St. Francis Hall, the incredible folks from Corcoran Caterers, photographer Jesse Kaplan, and friends of the bride Suzanne, Jen, and Darcie who rallied round their friend and coordinated closely with other guests and vendors like me to make sure we all got there.