"How Many Songs Should We Pick?" - Part 1

This is a question I'm often asked by my wedding couples: "How many songs should we pick for the DJ to play?"

A good question. An important question. To answer it, though, we need to clarify two things.

First, how many songs should you pick for what? There are four kinds of music at a wedding: ceremony music, background music (for cocktails and dinner), music for special moments (such as First Dance and Parents Dance), and music for general dancing.

Let's focus on the last category, and so rephrase the question like this: "How many songs should you pick for the general dancing part of the reception?"

Second, what do you mean by "pick"? Do you mean "suggest" or "require?" Because that makes all the difference in the world! Failure to understand the difference can lead to miscommunication between DJ and client -- and to a mismatch between what the DJ is playing and what your guests want to dance to.

In my opinion, you should give your DJ as many suggestions for general dancing as you wish. You can suggest a smattering of songs or hundreds of songs. You can name song titles, artists, eras, genres -- whatever works for you. This gives your DJ a wide array from which to make his selections and work his magic on the dance floor. Or if you want to just give your DJ a few examples and let him take it from there, that's fine, too. So if the question is "How many songs should we suggest for general dancing," the answer is "As many or as few as you'd like!"

On the other hand, you should limit the number of songs you require your DJ to play during general dancing to no more than, say, one-quarter to one-third of the general dancing songs. During a typical hour of dancing, about 17-18 songs will be played. For two hours of general dancing, a common amount, that's about 35 songs. In that case, try to limit your list of "absolute must play" dance songs to about 10 or 12.

Remember, that number does not include the songs you specify for special moments like your First Dance or songs played during the Grand Entrance. Nor does it include songs you specify as background music during cocktails or dinner. We're just talking here about "must play" songs for everyone to dance to.

That being said, if you're my client and you wish to give me a larger number of "must play" songs, I will honor your instructions. After all, it's YOUR wedding. If you hire me and I agree to perform at your wedding, YOU are my boss for that event.

But as I wrote in a prior post, although you're the boss, it's my professional duty to help you be the best boss you can -- so that your wedding turns out great. And my advice is: don't go overboard on the "must play" songs. In my next post, I'll explain WHY I recommend that.