Checking the Lyrics Before Choosing the Song

Before picking songs for special moments like your First Dance, Parents Dance, or Last Dance, pay close attention to the lyrics to make sure they truly suit the moment.

Some songs with cheerful titles and refrains that at first blush seem to convey a positive message are actually about hurtful, unhappy experiences. Nothing wrong with those sorts of songs; many of the greatest songs ever written are sad songs. ... But they aren't the best choice for the spotlight dances at your wedding.

A few months ago, a wedding couple told me they were thinking of U2's "The Sweetest Thing" for their First Dance. Why? Because they were huge U2 fans and when they thought of that song, what came to mind was the refrain "Ain't love the sweetest thing." But I recalled the song had a darker side, and sure enough, upon closer listening, that song catalogs all the ways an unhappy lover has been mistreated by his mate, with the line about love's sweetness meant sarcastically. Not a good First Dance choice, as my client soon agreed.

Another song sometimes misconstrued is James Blunts' mega-hit "You're Beautiful." Sure, he sings very nicely and longingly about a beautiful woman, but it's a song about unrequited love. He's longing for a woman he realizes he'll never be with; in fact, he'll never even see again. A haunting lyric, a nice ballad, but not a song to signify wedded bliss, to say the least.

Thinking of the Green Day song with the refrain "I hope you had the time of your life" for your Last Dance? Well, think again. I love that song, but it's full title is "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"; and it's really a cold brush-off song about the end of an affair. (On the other hand, the somewhat similarly titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack IS a good choice for your Last Dance, its lyrics conveying lovely emotions.)

Sometimes, a song's lyrics can be TOO positive for the occasion. You don't want the father-daughter song to be overtly passionate or romantic. A couple of years ago, a Latin American bride sought my assistance in picking a song by her father's favorite singer, Julio Iglesias, but we ended up ruling out her initial choice because, after I obtained an English translation of the Spanish lyrics, it was apparent they were too sensual if not downright sexual.

Speaking of the father-daughter dance, I'm surprised to see Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" suggested on some wedding music lists. Now, that song is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful, moving songs ever written about parent-child relations, but the song is about a deceased father (in fact, he wrote it as a tribute to his own Dad, who passed away when Luther was only eight years old).

Take a moment to examine the lyrics before you finalize your choices for your special dances, to make sure the song's message is the right one for those memorable moments. If you don't recall the words, a quick Google search of the song's title plus the word "lyrics" will bring them up.