This is a question I'm often asked by my wedding couples: "How many songs should we pick for the DJ to play?"
A good question. An important question. To answer it, though, we need to clarify two things.
First, how many songs should you pick for what? There are four kinds of music at a wedding: ceremony music, background music (for cocktails and dinner), music for special moments (such as First Dance and Parents Dance), and music for general dancing.
Let's focus on the last category, and so rephrase the question like this: "How many songs should you pick for the general dancing part of the reception?"
Second, what do you mean by "pick"? Do you mean "suggest" or "require?" Because that makes all the difference in the world! Failure to understand the difference can lead to miscommunication between DJ and client -- and to a mismatch between what the DJ is playing and what your guests want to dance to.
In my opinion, you should give your DJ as many suggestions for general dancing as you wish. You can suggest a smattering of songs or hundreds of songs. You can name song titles, artists, eras, genres -- whatever works for you. This gives your DJ a wide array from which to make his selections and work his magic on the dance floor. Or if you want to just give your DJ a few examples and let him take it from there, that's fine, too. So if the question is "How many songs should we suggest for general dancing," the answer is "As many or as few as you'd like!"
On the other hand, you should limit the number of songs you require your DJ to play during general dancing to no more than, say, one-quarter to one-third of the general dancing songs. During a typical hour of dancing, about 17-18 songs will be played. For two hours of general dancing, a common amount, that's about 35 songs. In that case, try to limit your list of "absolute must play" dance songs to about 10 or 12.
Remember, that number does not include the songs you specify for special moments like your First Dance or songs played during the Grand Entrance. Nor does it include songs you specify as background music during cocktails or dinner. We're just talking here about "must play" songs for everyone to dance to.
That being said, if you're my client and you wish to give me a larger number of "must play" songs, I will honor your instructions. After all, it's YOUR wedding. If you hire me and I agree to perform at your wedding, YOU are my boss for that event.
But as I wrote in a prior post, although you're the boss, it's my professional duty to help you be the best boss you can -- so that your wedding turns out great. And my advice is: don't go overboard on the "must play" songs. In my next post, I'll explain WHY I recommend that.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
A "9/11" Wedding?
September 11 falls on a Saturday this year, 2010. That's the second time since the September 11, 2001 attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon that "9/11" has fallen on a Saturday. The first time was 2004. Nobody in 2004 wanted to get married on 9/11 -- the horrific memories of 2001 were too raw.
Now, it is nine years later. It will be interesting to see if "9/11" is still a date wedding couples avoid. My guess is that most wedding couples still prefer that their anniversary not coincide with a date associated with tragedy. I myself am nearly sold out for Saturdays in September and October 2010, but have had only one inquiry for September 11 so far.
One could argue that it'd be a good thing for Americans to reclaim that date for more positive celebrations. After all, both before and after 2001, there have been and continue to be babies born every year on September 11. WIthin the US population of 300 million, approximately 800,000 people celebrate their birthday on 9/11. And people get married on other "days of infamy" such as Pearl Harbor Day (December 6) or the JFK assasination (November 22).
For wedding couples considering a Saturday wedding in the very popular wedding month of September, September 11 offers you an opportunity to save money. Most wedding vendors charge a premium for the most popular wedding dates -- and Saturdays in September and October are among the highest-demand wedding dates, right up there with Saturdays in May and June. But because of weaker demand,many vendors may offer their services at off-peak rates for Saturday, September 11.
A caveat: If any of your guests had family or friends directly impacted by 9/11/01 (i.e., they or any loved ones were working at the Pentagon or in downtown Manhattan that day), that might mitigate against a 9/11 wedding for you. Otherwise, consider it. You'll find greater venue and vendor availability on that date than on any other Saturday in late summer or early fall, and possibly at a discount.
Now, it is nine years later. It will be interesting to see if "9/11" is still a date wedding couples avoid. My guess is that most wedding couples still prefer that their anniversary not coincide with a date associated with tragedy. I myself am nearly sold out for Saturdays in September and October 2010, but have had only one inquiry for September 11 so far.
One could argue that it'd be a good thing for Americans to reclaim that date for more positive celebrations. After all, both before and after 2001, there have been and continue to be babies born every year on September 11. WIthin the US population of 300 million, approximately 800,000 people celebrate their birthday on 9/11. And people get married on other "days of infamy" such as Pearl Harbor Day (December 6) or the JFK assasination (November 22).
For wedding couples considering a Saturday wedding in the very popular wedding month of September, September 11 offers you an opportunity to save money. Most wedding vendors charge a premium for the most popular wedding dates -- and Saturdays in September and October are among the highest-demand wedding dates, right up there with Saturdays in May and June. But because of weaker demand,many vendors may offer their services at off-peak rates for Saturday, September 11.
A caveat: If any of your guests had family or friends directly impacted by 9/11/01 (i.e., they or any loved ones were working at the Pentagon or in downtown Manhattan that day), that might mitigate against a 9/11 wedding for you. Otherwise, consider it. You'll find greater venue and vendor availability on that date than on any other Saturday in late summer or early fall, and possibly at a discount.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Dance Floors - One Size Doesn't Fit All
How large should your dance floor be?
The rule of thumb (or should we say, rule of dancing feet) seems to be 4.5 square feet PER DANCER -- which is 9.0 square feet per DANCING COUPLE. (For slow dances, everyone's dancing as a couple, but for faster dancing, you typically have a mix of couples and individual dancers).
Of course, that's only one part of the equation. The other part is how many people are likely to be on the dance floor at any one time. That can vary widely from one event to another, and even from one time to another during the same event. Some of the floor rental companies estimate that, typically, no more than 30% of guests will be on the dance floor at any one time.
So if you expect 150-160 people at your wedding, think of enough space for 50 simultaneous dancers, which is 225 square feet (50 times 4.5), i.e., a 15' by 15' dance floor.
Space permitting, err on the side of a larger dance floor. A tiny dance floor might send a signal to guests that you don't anticipate much dancing. And it's no fun to be bumping into people on an overstuffed dance floor (unless you're going for a "mosh pit" ambiance!) Plus, a larger dance floor is a good way to provide that all-important buffer between the dining tables and the DJ (so that no guests are seated too close to the speaker system). On the other hand, you don't want a dance floor so huge that it looks half-empty even when lots of guests are dancing.
Another tip: all things being equal, go for a larger dance if it's a Jewish wedding, because the large circles formed while dancing the Hora inevitably take up a lot of extra space.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Checking the Lyrics Before Choosing the Song
Before picking songs for special moments like your First Dance, Parents Dance, or Last Dance, pay close attention to the lyrics to make sure they truly suit the moment.
Some songs with cheerful titles and refrains that at first blush seem to convey a positive message are actually about hurtful, unhappy experiences. Nothing wrong with those sorts of songs; many of the greatest songs ever written are sad songs. ... But they aren't the best choice for the spotlight dances at your wedding.
A few months ago, a wedding couple told me they were thinking of U2's "The Sweetest Thing" for their First Dance. Why? Because they were huge U2 fans and when they thought of that song, what came to mind was the refrain "Ain't love the sweetest thing." But I recalled the song had a darker side, and sure enough, upon closer listening, that song catalogs all the ways an unhappy lover has been mistreated by his mate, with the line about love's sweetness meant sarcastically. Not a good First Dance choice, as my client soon agreed.
Another song sometimes misconstrued is James Blunts' mega-hit "You're Beautiful." Sure, he sings very nicely and longingly about a beautiful woman, but it's a song about unrequited love. He's longing for a woman he realizes he'll never be with; in fact, he'll never even see again. A haunting lyric, a nice ballad, but not a song to signify wedded bliss, to say the least.
Thinking of the Green Day song with the refrain "I hope you had the time of your life" for your Last Dance? Well, think again. I love that song, but it's full title is "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"; and it's really a cold brush-off song about the end of an affair. (On the other hand, the somewhat similarly titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack IS a good choice for your Last Dance, its lyrics conveying lovely emotions.)
Sometimes, a song's lyrics can be TOO positive for the occasion. You don't want the father-daughter song to be overtly passionate or romantic. A couple of years ago, a Latin American bride sought my assistance in picking a song by her father's favorite singer, Julio Iglesias, but we ended up ruling out her initial choice because, after I obtained an English translation of the Spanish lyrics, it was apparent they were too sensual if not downright sexual.
Speaking of the father-daughter dance, I'm surprised to see Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" suggested on some wedding music lists. Now, that song is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful, moving songs ever written about parent-child relations, but the song is about a deceased father (in fact, he wrote it as a tribute to his own Dad, who passed away when Luther was only eight years old).
Take a moment to examine the lyrics before you finalize your choices for your special dances, to make sure the song's message is the right one for those memorable moments. If you don't recall the words, a quick Google search of the song's title plus the word "lyrics" will bring them up.
Some songs with cheerful titles and refrains that at first blush seem to convey a positive message are actually about hurtful, unhappy experiences. Nothing wrong with those sorts of songs; many of the greatest songs ever written are sad songs. ... But they aren't the best choice for the spotlight dances at your wedding.
A few months ago, a wedding couple told me they were thinking of U2's "The Sweetest Thing" for their First Dance. Why? Because they were huge U2 fans and when they thought of that song, what came to mind was the refrain "Ain't love the sweetest thing." But I recalled the song had a darker side, and sure enough, upon closer listening, that song catalogs all the ways an unhappy lover has been mistreated by his mate, with the line about love's sweetness meant sarcastically. Not a good First Dance choice, as my client soon agreed.
Another song sometimes misconstrued is James Blunts' mega-hit "You're Beautiful." Sure, he sings very nicely and longingly about a beautiful woman, but it's a song about unrequited love. He's longing for a woman he realizes he'll never be with; in fact, he'll never even see again. A haunting lyric, a nice ballad, but not a song to signify wedded bliss, to say the least.
Thinking of the Green Day song with the refrain "I hope you had the time of your life" for your Last Dance? Well, think again. I love that song, but it's full title is "Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)"; and it's really a cold brush-off song about the end of an affair. (On the other hand, the somewhat similarly titled "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack IS a good choice for your Last Dance, its lyrics conveying lovely emotions.)
Sometimes, a song's lyrics can be TOO positive for the occasion. You don't want the father-daughter song to be overtly passionate or romantic. A couple of years ago, a Latin American bride sought my assistance in picking a song by her father's favorite singer, Julio Iglesias, but we ended up ruling out her initial choice because, after I obtained an English translation of the Spanish lyrics, it was apparent they were too sensual if not downright sexual.
Speaking of the father-daughter dance, I'm surprised to see Luther Vandross' "Dance With My Father" suggested on some wedding music lists. Now, that song is, without doubt, one of the most beautiful, moving songs ever written about parent-child relations, but the song is about a deceased father (in fact, he wrote it as a tribute to his own Dad, who passed away when Luther was only eight years old).
Take a moment to examine the lyrics before you finalize your choices for your special dances, to make sure the song's message is the right one for those memorable moments. If you don't recall the words, a quick Google search of the song's title plus the word "lyrics" will bring them up.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Money to Plant Trees and to Grow Music
Today, I'm pleased to announce Good Note DJ's new commitment to charitable contributions.
For each new wedding in 2010 and beyond, I will honor the newlywed couple by donating money to one of my favorite causes. My wedding couples will choose between a donation in their honor to:
Helping our earthly environment with trees and helping disadvantaged people with music and creativity -– what wonderful ways to celebrate a married couple's beginning their new life together!
More info on these groups:
AMERICAN FORESTS
Founded in 1875, American Forests is a world leader in planting trees for environmental restoration, a pioneer in the science and practice of urban forestry, and a primary communicator of the benefits of trees and forests. Currently, its primary campaigns are "Tree-Planting for Environmental Restoration" and "Reversing the National Urban Tree Deficit," which encourage people to improve rural, suburban, and urban ecosystems by planting and caring for trees that provide important environmental and economic benefits including pure water, clean air, and wildlife habitat. Every dollar donated to one of American Forests’ projects goes directly to plant a tree in a forest or urban environment.
HUNGRY FOR MUSIC
Hungry For Music is a grassroots volunteer-driven 501 (c)(3) charity organization whose mission is to inspire underprivileged children and others by bringing positive musical and creative experiences into their lives. Since 1994, Hungry for Music has brought the healing quality of music to thousands of people through its musical instrument donations, concerts, and workshops. Executive Director Jeff Campbell states: “Hungry for Music’s purpose is to embrace the positive qualities of music: its ability to create community, to express a talent, to unify various races, and most importantly to heal.” Among other things, it provides musical instruments to individuals, schools, and community music programs who cannot afford them, and presents music concerts and workshops in settings such as hospitals, homeless shelters, schools in low-income areas, and community centers.
For each new wedding in 2010 and beyond, I will honor the newlywed couple by donating money to one of my favorite causes. My wedding couples will choose between a donation in their honor to:
- AMERICAN FORESTS (America’s oldest nature conservation organization), where each dollar helps the environment by planting trees in forests and urban areas; or
- HUNGRY FOR MUSIC (a grassroots volunteer-driven charity), where each dollar helps spread the joys of music while enriching the lives of underprivileged children by providing them musical instruments and music workshops.
Helping our earthly environment with trees and helping disadvantaged people with music and creativity -– what wonderful ways to celebrate a married couple's beginning their new life together!
More info on these groups:
AMERICAN FORESTS
Founded in 1875, American Forests is a world leader in planting trees for environmental restoration, a pioneer in the science and practice of urban forestry, and a primary communicator of the benefits of trees and forests. Currently, its primary campaigns are "Tree-Planting for Environmental Restoration" and "Reversing the National Urban Tree Deficit," which encourage people to improve rural, suburban, and urban ecosystems by planting and caring for trees that provide important environmental and economic benefits including pure water, clean air, and wildlife habitat. Every dollar donated to one of American Forests’ projects goes directly to plant a tree in a forest or urban environment.
Hungry For Music is a grassroots volunteer-driven 501 (c)(3) charity organization whose mission is to inspire underprivileged children and others by bringing positive musical and creative experiences into their lives. Since 1994, Hungry for Music has brought the healing quality of music to thousands of people through its musical instrument donations, concerts, and workshops. Executive Director Jeff Campbell states: “Hungry for Music’s purpose is to embrace the positive qualities of music: its ability to create community, to express a talent, to unify various races, and most importantly to heal.” Among other things, it provides musical instruments to individuals, schools, and community music programs who cannot afford them, and presents music concerts and workshops in settings such as hospitals, homeless shelters, schools in low-income areas, and community centers.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Happy Birthday, Elvis
Today, January 8, 2010, would have been Elvis Presley's 75th birthday.
Some folks nowadays consider Elvis nothing but a bit of American kitsch. They couldn't be more wrong.
Simply put, in his day, Elvis was the king of rock'n'roll.
The lyrics to one of his songs says it best:
A poor man wants the oyster
A rich man wants the pearl
But the man who can sing when he hasn't got a thing
He's the king of the whole wide world
Come on let's sing, sing brother sing
'Cause the man who can sing when he hasn't got a thing
He's the king of the whole wide world
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Fashion & Style Trends - What's Up with "What's Hot"?
I will preface this post by confessing that what I don't know about fashion could fill a book, much less a blog post. Still, I'll venture into that territory here.
I am bemused by all the wedding industry websites, magazines, blogs, tweets, and advertisements that showcase what they claim are the latest "hot" trends in bridal fashion and wedding styles. In the guise of being helpful to brides, they strike me as cajoling brides into playing follow the fashion leader. I admit to reacting coolly to lists of what's hot.
If you, the bride, are a Hollywood star or a wealthy socialite or if you work in the fashion industry, or even if it is just your personal preference to be on the stylistic cutting edge, then I can see why you'd need to be very conscious of the so-called "hot" trends. But if you're not, my advice is: when it comes to your wedding attire and to the stylistic flourishes at your wedding, don't worry about what's "hot" or what's "in." Concern yourself with what's "you."
For example, each year the Color Marketing Group determines future color trends. It's fun to be aware of those, and believe me, you WILL see those CMG hues everywhere (they not only predict the future, they make their predictions come true).
But when it comes to your wedding, why not just pick YOUR favorite colors? It's your life, your wedding, your marriage. You're not doing a fashion shoot for next month's issue of Vogue; you're celebrating your union with the love of your life. Consider consulting with a fashion expert to help you determine how to put your colors together -- e.g., what colors go well with, or nicely contrast with, you favorite. But base your personal palette on your favorite color, not one dictated from above.
I chuckle when I see wedding experts pronounce that some "retro" or "vintage" style is now "the hot trend for 2010." I love retro or vintage looks. I enjoy looking at photos of retro or vintage weddings. But my point is, if you like the retro style or look of some vintage period, go with it. Don't worry about whether TheKnot.com or bridal magazines have pronounced that era to be "hot" in 2010.
So look through all the bridal magazines and wedding websites you want, for ideas of colors, fashions, decor, and stylist flourishes, and seek advice from the experts. Just take those breathless pronouncements of the "hot trends" with a good, old-fashioned grain of salt. Good taste never goes out of style. Your dreams never go out of style. Your wedding should be about you, not about the fashion flash de jour.
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