Can We See You Perform?

Sometimes I am asked by prospective clients whether they can drop by and see me perform at a wedding.

The answer is no. Here's why.

REASON #1:

It's not respectful of my current clients. You wouldn't want strangers dropping in on YOUR wedding, would you? Nor would you want the DJ's attention at YOUR wedding diverted by his interest in a visitor to whom he's trying to sell his services.

REASON #2:

It's not actually that helpful to prospective clients.

If you dropped by just for a few minutes, what would you learn? If you came by during dancing, you wouldn't observe how I conduct myself making announcements. If you came during dinner/background music, you wouldn't get a sense of the dancing. Yet if you stayed long enough to observe me in action during different phases of the reception, you'd be substantially intruding on someone else's private event (see Reason #1).

Besides, since I customize my services to fit the tastes and desires of each wedding couple, what I say or don't say, play or don't play, do or don't do at YOUR wedding will differ from what I say, play, or do at someone else's wedding. You might walk in on my other wedding just as I play a song you dislike -- a song which I'm playing because THAT wedding client requested it.

BEST WEDDING RECEPTION BOOK

Recommended reading for couples planning a wedding: a book called The Best Wedding Reception ... Ever .

Not a modest title, and the author, noted California-based wedding expert Peter Merry , is not shy about tooting his own horn.

But there's an old saying: It ain't braggin' if it's true.

And when it comes to making your wedding reception unique, personalized, and memorable, few if any wedding entertainers have devoted the time and thought to this that Merry has.

Indeed, I'd recommend his book not only to wedding couples but to professionals working in the wedding industry. I myself have attended one of Merry's workshops for professional DJs and was much impressed . . . so much so that I'll be attending another later this year.

The book can be ordered at Amazon.com or directly from Merry's website.

"DO NOT PLAY"

What the DJ doesn't play can be almost as important as what he does play. Your wedding DJ should respect any "do not play" list of songs you provide him.

In fact, your wedding DJ should ask you in advance to provide him with your "do not play" list. He can even help you by mentioning examples of songs other clients have vetoed. If you're not strongly opposed to any songs, that's fine. But it's your wedding; you should have the option of excluding songs you really don't want.

There's an important additional step that some DJ's overlook. After receiving a "do not play" list, he should ask you: "Should I not play these EVEN IF requested? Or would it be okay to play any of these IF a guest requests it?"

This clarification is important. You'd be surprised how often the very song that you dislike, or think inappropriate, is the very one your Aunt Margaret or your Cousin Bob comes up to the DJ and requests! So you'll want to instruct your DJ in advance how to handle the request of a "do not play" song.

A NICE TOUCH FOR YOUR WEDDING MAIL

In May 2009, the U.S. Postal Service issued these elegant postal adornments for your invitations, thank you notes, and other wedding-related mailings.



On the left, a 44-cent stamp depicting two gold wedding rings tied with a white ribbon. That's the basic First Class rate for up to one ounce.

On the right, a 61-cent stamp depicting a three-tiered wedding cake. You'll need the 61-cent stamp if your letter weighs between one and two ounces.

Both stamps were designed by a Bethesda MD artist, using photos by a Washington DC photographer.

Note: If your wedding invitation is square-shaped rather than rectangular, the First Class rate is now 88-cents even if it weighs less than an ounce. In that case, you can use two wedding ring stamps per envelope.

These stamps are available at local post offices or can be ordered online

Unfair Prices

In yesterday's (July 16) entry, I discussed how DJs might fairly come up with a quote for your wedding.

Today, I'll address the unfortunate case of DJs who vary their quotes based on illegitimate, unfair factors.

Most flagrant is the practice of pricing your event based on subjective factors reflecting what the DJ thinks you're willing to pay.

This sort of DJ may quote a higher price to eager-sounding callers than to those who seem cautious. He might charge more or less depending on how expensive your reception site is. Referrals from high-end photographers or planners may trigger high-end quotes. Even your home address may factor in his calculations -- he'll guess your level of affluence from where you live, and price accordingly.

Some DJs are so blatant about this, they'll even ask "What is your budget? How much would you like to spend?"

Such inconsistent pricing is UNFAIR, plain and simple. How would you feel if you found out your DJ company was charging some other client a lower price for a similar event on a similar date?

My advice: work with DJ companies -- and other vendors -- whose fee structures are clear, transparent, and objective. Avoid those who base their price quotes on how thick they think your wallet is!

A Fair Price

You'll find a wide range of prices for all wedding services, and DJs are no exception.

In a future post, I'll discuss why some DJs are more expensive than others.

Here, I want to address why the same DJ might charge a different price for your wedding than he does for another.

Legitimate factors in a DJ's pricing structure include:

• What month is your wedding? Fees for peak months like May, June, September, and October trend higher than those for off-peak months like November, January, and February.

• What day is your wedding? Most weddings are on Saturdays. Many DJs offer a discount for Thursday, Friday, or Sunday weddings.

• How many hours will the DJ perform? Many DJs quote a base rate for a 4-hour performance, with extra hourly rates for "overtime."

• How much equipment is needed? Your reception might require the DJ to set up multiple sound systems in different places -- for example, a cocktail hour outside the main ballroom.

• Are you using the DJ for the ceremony? This is an extra task that might trigger an extra fee.

• Does your event require travel outside the DJ's local region?

All the above are LEGITIMATE pricing considerations. They are based on OBJECTIVE factors that reflect supply-and-demand and the amount of work involved.

Unfortunately, some DJs vary their prices based on ILLEGITIMATE factors. We'll discuss those in tomorrow's post.

A TOUCH OF YOUR HONEYMOON AT YOUR RECEPTION

Tell your DJ where you're honeymooning. He may be able to suggest some music to evoke your honeymoon at your reception.

For example, music during your cocktail hour can be themed to reflect your honeymoon destination. Hawaiian music for a Hawaiian honeymoon; reggae, soca, or calypso for a Caribbean honeymoon; Celtic music for a honeymoon in the British Isles; beach music for a honeymoon by the ocean.

Or how about a song related to your honeymoon for your last dance or second-to-last dance? I recently DJ'd for a couple who were honeymooning in Egypt; for their last dance we chose "You Belong To Me" because it starts with the lyrics "See the pyramids along the Nile ... " (We also might have used "Walk Like an Egyptian.")

Even if you can't think of a musical connection to your honeymoon, your DJ -- if he's a music expert, as he should be -- may be able to suggest one. Just another way of adding a personalized, unique touch to YOUR wedding reception.

MEET YOUR DJ -- NOT YOUR SALESPERSON

When you call a DJ company, who are you talking to: the person who will actually DJ and MC your wedding, or a salesperson?

If you call one of the large entertainment companies, you are most definitely talking with a salesperson, NOT with your DJ. You can rest assured that person is good. Very good. At salesmanship.

He'll tell you he has the perfect DJ for you. But unless you meet your actual DJ in advance, you're don't really know what you're getting. Even if you select the specific DJ in advance, the contact may well reserve the company's right to switch the DJ for any reason. You might get an orange instead of an apple. Worse, you might get a lemon.

If you call a medium-size DJ company with a small roster of DJs, the person you speak to is likely also one of the working DJs. You should clarify whether he will be your DJ, or whether one of his associates (an employee or independent contractor) will be assigned to you. If the latter, check out the associate in advance. Remember, the actual DJ that performs at your wedding will be the one who makes or breaks your event.

Now, if you call a single-DJ operation (like mine!), you know from the get-go that the person you're talking with and meeting with is the person who'll be with you every step of the way, from the advance planning right up to the last dance of your reception.

Slide Shows

Are you considering a photo presentation at your reception -- photographs tracing the lives of the bride and groom, compiled into a slideshow or montage on DVD or PowerPoint? Sometimes a musical soundtrack is added. A family members might put together a slideshow; some wedding photographers or hotel events staff offer them.

You can have the slideshow running on a continuous loop somewhere off to the side, for guests to view at their leisure. Or you can present it as a “show” front-and-center at a particular time while guests are seated.

Presenting it as a show gives you the emotional impact of an audience sighing or smiling as they view the photos. And you're sure all the guests see them.

But there are disadvantages. It adds yet another scheduled event to your reception, taking away guests’ time for simply enjoying themselves. And you risk the inconvenience and disruption of something going wrong. I don’t mean to give you something to worry about -- but I have seen all sorts of technical glitches impact these presentations! (The computer reboots, the program freezes, the DVD doesn't play, the monitor isn't set up properly, the projector isn't functioning ... )

Also, there are logistic issues.

-- Where do you place the screen or jumbo monitor in the ballroom so that all the tables have a good view?

-- Will the room need to be darkened?

-- Who will set up and operate the computer, DVD player, monitor, and/or projector? And will that person be there come "showtime" to troubleshoot?

-- Will you need to run the audio through the DJ’s sound system?

On the other hand, if you simply have the slideshow running off to the side somewhere on a monitor in a continuous loop, guests can view it at their leisure, and they can view it multiple times if they wish. And if there is a glitch, it doesn’t disrupt the main program.

Last Dance

Have you thought about what song you'd like to have played as the last dance at your wedding reception?

The last dance is not as significant as your first dance. As years go by, you'll remember the song you picked for your first dance as your "wedding song"; you might not even recall your last dance selection. And it's the first dance that shines the spotlight on you; for the last dance, everyone's on the dance floor with you.

But the last dance is still worth thinking about to ensure your wedding reception ends on a good note.

I often recommend songs that explicitly signal the end of dancing. For one thing, the venues appreciate the DJ's assistance in letting your guests know it's closing time. And besides, it shows your thoughtfulness in picking a song that fits the moment.

Some popular and suitable last dance choices include:

• "Last Dance" by Donna Summer
• "Last Dance" by Frank Sinatra
• "Save the Last Dance for Me" by the Drifters (original version)
• "Save the Last Dance for Me" by Michael Buble (contemporary version)
• "Time to Say Goodbye" by Andrea Bocelli & Sarah Brightman
• "I've Had the Time of My Life" by Bill Medley & Jennifer Warnes (from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack)
• "Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight" by the Spaniels

Of these, my two favorites are the ones by Donna Summer and Bill Medley/Jennifer Warnes. Why? Because each is like two songs in one. Each starts out slow and ends up fast. With either of these, your last dance starts in a nice romantic mood and ends with a high-energy finish.

One song I do NOT recommend is "Time of Your Life" by Green Day. At first blush, the refrain ("I hope you had the time of your life ... ") seems fitting, but the song is actually about telling someone "good riddance"!

More last dance suggestions in a future posting. Email me if you'd like my complete list (steve@goodnote.com).

WATER YOUR GUESTS SO THEY DON'T WILT

It's a beautiful summer morning or afternoon, and you're having a wedding ceremony outdoors.

Most guests arrive early, and many take their seats well prior to the start of the ceremony. Add more minutes sitting patiently in the summer heat if your ceremony doesn't start precisely on time.

In these circumstances, people naturally get thirsty.

Therefore, a very thoughtful touch is to make water available to the guests prior to the ceremony. This can be as simple as having bottled water or glasses of water available on a table near where the guests enter the ceremony area.

I'm not suggesting opening up the bar prior to the ceremony, or having an early-bird cocktail hour.

I'm simply suggesting water.

Especially during those hot summer months, a little bit of water can make your guests more comfortable, so they are enjoying -- not enduring -- your outdoor ceremony!

WORKING TOGETHER

I just returned from DJ'ing an event at a facility where the staff were so friendly and helpful and professional, it's worth giving them kudos. It's the Marriott Wardman Park Hotel in the Woodley Park section of NW Washington DC. From the event manager to the parking attendants, everyone was a pleasure to work with. The ballroom was stunning, everything was first-rate, this place exudes class. To me, "class" doesn't just mean fancy -- it also means people following the Golden Rule ("do unto others ... "). Management must be doing something right at this hotel -- even the guys working the midnight shift breaking down the ballroom after the event were cheerful.

Another place I recently worked where the on-site coordinator and her entire staff were noteworthy for their positive attitude, professionalism, and cooperation was the Engineers Club in the historic Mount Vernon district of Baltimore. And the interior spaces in this beautiful landmark are gorgeous and distinctive.

Although this blog is not intended primarily as a vehicle for plugging specific wedding sites or other wedding vendors, I'd be remiss if I didn't occasionally single out some of the best for praise.

When the staff at a wedding site works well with other vendors, the result is sure to be a smoothly run event. Everyone's working hard but also enjoying their work -- and this rubs off on your guests as well.