Not Too Heavy, Not Too Light

Do you recall that recent Bud Light TV commercial titled “The Arrival”?

A guy arrives at a backyard party, waves to no one in particular, and meekly says “hi everybody.” Nobody even notices. “TOO LIGHT,” proclaims the ad. Then the same guy is shown crashing through the back fence in a fire-spewing monster truck. “TOO HEAVY,” for sure. In contrast, we’re told, the beer that’s right for you is “not too heavy, not too light.”

The same standard – neither too heavy nor too light – applies to the DJ who serves as Master of Ceremonies (MC)at a wedding reception.

You don’t want your DJ/MC to come across like a melodramatic ringmaster at a Barnum & Bailey Circus, a cheesy TV game show host, wild and crazy “Morning Zoo” radio jock, or a World Wrestling Foundation announcer. TOO HEAVY.

But neither do you want an DJ/MC who’s a wallflower, inarticulate, soft-spoken, unable to command attention, more comfortable buried in his headphones and staring at his mixer than addressing an audience on the microphone. TOO LIGHT.

What you want and need for a wedding reception is a DJ/MC who knows how to talk on the microphone but also knows when not to; who sounds like a classy, articulate professional; who comes across with just enough (but not too much) positive energy; and who can get your guests’ attention when needed to make announcements but without grabbing the spotlight for himself.

"How many songs should we pick?" - Part 3

This is the third and final part of a 3-part article about how many songs you, the wedding couple, should pre-select for the general dancing portion of their reception.

As discussed in part 1 and part 2, my advice is: give your DJ as much GUIDANCE about the dance music as you want but keep your "MUST-PLAY" list to a reasonable length. That means leaving your DJ with considerable discretion to play a variety of music aimed at keeping the dance floor filled.

But what about your very valid concern that if you give the DJ too much discretion, he'll play music you DON'T want to hear?

There's an easy answer to that. In addition to telling the DJ  the music you LIKE, tell him what you DON'T like. In fact, feel free to give him a "Do Not Play" list.

Some clients don't realize they don't have to micromanage the DJ's playlist to avoid songs they absolutely don't want to hear.  If you don't want line dances like the "Electric Slide" played, just tell your DJ. If you want to steer clear of gangsta rap or any hiphop you find offensive, instruct your DJ accordingly. Not a country music fan? Tell your DJ to avoid it. Don't want to hear play "Brown Eyed Girl" because you associate it with an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend? Just put it on your "Do Not Play" list.

Think of it like the food. If you're allergic to peanuts,  you'd just tell the chef to not to use peanuts -- you wouldn't have to specify every ingredient in his recipe.

One final nuance: When compiling your "Do Not Play" list, tell your DJ whether these are to be avoided EVEN IF requested -- or whether they're not to be played UNLESS requested.

You never know what your Aunt Sally or Uncle Bob might come up to your DJ and request; it could be one of those line dances you're not fond of!  After compiling a "Do Not Play" list, go through it a second time and see if you could tolerate any of the songs if a guest asks for them, or whether your DJ should deflect requests for them under any and all circumstances. As your DJ, I will honor your decision either way.

"Tips for Hiring a Wedding DJ" - new video on YouTube

Months in the making, and finally up and running: the Good Note DJ YouTube channel. I uploaded the first video yesterday.

It's about three minutes long. The title is "Tips for Hiring a Wedding DJ." Click here to view it on YouTube.

I hope you'll not only watch it but also rate it, leave a comment, and pass it along to others via Facebook, Twitter, blogs, or email -- all accessible directly by clicking on "Share" right below the YouTube video window.

You can also subscribe to the GoodNoteDJ YouTube Channel -- more videos are in the works. Forthcoming topics: "What Can Go Wrong at Your Wedding with the Wrong DJ"; "Ways a DJ Can Personalize Your Wedding Reception"; and "Ideas for Cocktail and Dinner Music at Your Wedding".

I wrote and produced the video. Videography is by Rob Burdette of Thomas Bowen Films. The wonderful opening animated sequence is by my old friend Dick Bangham of RipBang Pictures. Thanks to these consummate professionals for their hard work and creativity.

"How many songs should we pick?" - Part 2

This is part 2 of a 3-part article on the wedding couple's selection of songs played during the general dancing portion of their reception.

Part 1 explained why you should give your DJ as much GUIDANCE about the dance music as you want but keep your "MUST-PLAY" list to a reasonable length.  This part explains why.

If you give your DJ too many “must-play” songs for dancing, your DJ ends up having to “DJ by checklist." Here's what's wrong with DJ'ing by checklist.

• A good DJ plays songs that flow well together, taking into account the tempo, the style, and even how the one song ends and how the next one begins. This helps keep the dance floor filled. If he’s DJ’ing from a checklist, you’ll hear more abrupt transitions between one song and the next, which disrupts the flow of energy on the dance floor.

• A good DJ reads the crowd and adjusts his set lists based on the responses he's getting on the dance floor. DJ’ing from a checklist means reading a piece of paper, not reading the crowd.

• A good DJ tries to fit in some songs requested by your guests right there at the reception. When your parents, your siblings, or your dearest friends go up to the DJ and request a song they really want to dance to, do you really want him to say "No" because his playlist is already set in stone?

• A good DJ, with hundreds of events under his belt, knows all sorts of sure-fire dance music that you, the wedding couple, might not have thought of.  You may know a lot of music, but chances are you don’t know all the musical nooks and crannies your DJ does. Do you really want to pay a DJ to NOT utilize his expertise?

Here are some other things to think about when considering how many "must play" songs to give your DJ for the dancing period.

Sometimes, the most fervent compilers of “must play” lists are guys who are avid listeners but not big dancers. Ladies, do you want your DJ to be playing your hipster husband’s favorite obscure indie bands that he likes to listen to rather than the songs your bridesmaids and girlfriends want to dance to?

Isn’t it fun to have an element of surprise and spontaneity at your reception? If nearly every song during dancing is one you’ve preselected, you’ve eliminated those sparks of surprise and spontaneity.

Your DJ, if he's good at his job, WILL incorporate a LOT of the music you specify but will mix it with other music that seems right for the occasion. If you don’t have confidence in your DJs judgment, or doubt your DJ’s commitment to incorporate your favorites while also satisfying your guests's varied tastes, you should hire a different DJ!

Still not convinced? In part 3 of this series, I’ll reveal a tactic that will greatly increase your confidence in giving your DJ discretion for the dance music while addressing your desire to shape his music selection.

"How Many Songs Should We Pick?" - Part 1

This is a question I'm often asked by my wedding couples: "How many songs should we pick for the DJ to play?"

A good question. An important question. To answer it, though, we need to clarify two things.

First, how many songs should you pick for what? There are four kinds of music at a wedding: ceremony music, background music (for cocktails and dinner), music for special moments (such as First Dance and Parents Dance), and music for general dancing.

Let's focus on the last category, and so rephrase the question like this: "How many songs should you pick for the general dancing part of the reception?"

Second, what do you mean by "pick"? Do you mean "suggest" or "require?" Because that makes all the difference in the world! Failure to understand the difference can lead to miscommunication between DJ and client -- and to a mismatch between what the DJ is playing and what your guests want to dance to.

In my opinion, you should give your DJ as many suggestions for general dancing as you wish. You can suggest a smattering of songs or hundreds of songs. You can name song titles, artists, eras, genres -- whatever works for you. This gives your DJ a wide array from which to make his selections and work his magic on the dance floor. Or if you want to just give your DJ a few examples and let him take it from there, that's fine, too. So if the question is "How many songs should we suggest for general dancing," the answer is "As many or as few as you'd like!"

On the other hand, you should limit the number of songs you require your DJ to play during general dancing to no more than, say, one-quarter to one-third of the general dancing songs. During a typical hour of dancing, about 17-18 songs will be played. For two hours of general dancing, a common amount, that's about 35 songs. In that case, try to limit your list of "absolute must play" dance songs to about 10 or 12.

Remember, that number does not include the songs you specify for special moments like your First Dance or songs played during the Grand Entrance. Nor does it include songs you specify as background music during cocktails or dinner. We're just talking here about "must play" songs for everyone to dance to.

That being said, if you're my client and you wish to give me a larger number of "must play" songs, I will honor your instructions. After all, it's YOUR wedding. If you hire me and I agree to perform at your wedding, YOU are my boss for that event.

But as I wrote in a prior post, although you're the boss, it's my professional duty to help you be the best boss you can -- so that your wedding turns out great. And my advice is: don't go overboard on the "must play" songs. In my next post, I'll explain WHY I recommend that.

One of Life's Great Mysteries - Why No Reply?

Here, to me, is one of life's great mysteries.

When I say "life," I mean life as a wedding vendor. When I say "great mysteries," I'm being a bit facetious. But I truly am puzzled by it.

What I'm referring to is the following scenario, which happens often enough to puzzle me:

• Step 1: A prospective client inquiries about my services for his/her wedding via email.
  
• Step 2: I respond, often within minutes or within hours at most.
• Step 3: No reply from the prospective client.
  
• Step 4: Wait a couple days, repeat Step 2.
• Step 5: Again, no reply.
• Step 6: I'm left to ponder why.

Here's what I don't get. Getting married is a big deal. Planning a wedding is a big deal. Hiring the right entertainment for a wedding reception is a big deal.  So why would someone who takes the initiative to reach out to me about DJ'ing their wedding simply drop the ball after that initial inquiry?

Maybe it's just me, but when I desire to purchase any product or service and become sufficiently motivated to act on that desire, I appreciate a prompt response from a vendor I contact, and I'm eager to follow-up. I might or might not end up purchasing from that vendor, but at least I want to engage in the dialogue to help me decide.

When I enter a hardware store and ask the guy at the information desk "Do you stock humidifiers?" and he says "Yes, they're on Aisle 7," I don't turn on my heels without another word and leave the store! I say "thank you"; I proceed directly to Aisle 7; I look over their selection; I ask the clerk some questions about product features, benefits, and prices, and if he asks me questions to help him suggest the right humidifier for my needs, I answer his. That's how I make an informed choice of what humidifier to buy, and whether to buy it from that store or elsewhere.

And here, we're talking about a crucial service for someone's wedding!

Ah, you might say ... there's got to be an explanation for the no-reply scenario.

Perhaps the brides and grooms who contact me are very busy.  True, they are ... but they weren't too busy to visit my website and fill out my on-line inquiry form! 

Perhaps they simply didn't like my response.But often their inquiry simply asks "Are you available on our wedding date?" Surely, they can't be displeased when my answer is "Yes, I am!"

Besides, unless they're randomly sending out dozens of initial inquiries, there must be something they saw, read, heard, or learned about my services that attracted them enough to take the time to contact me.

Perhaps, they simply overlooked my response, or it was blocked by their junk mail filter? I guess that's a possibility. But I clearly label my email response "DJ for Your [Month/Day] Wedding" and I respond by phone as well as email in most cases.

Perhaps they've decided to hire someone else to provide their wedding entertainment? Eventually, sure ... but within minutes after first contacting me, unlikely! 

Honestly, I just don't get it. It's not like I'm sending spam or making unsolicited sales calls. In every case, I am responding to a specific inquiry about my services.

I give each and every client and prospective client personal, timely, and attentive service. I think they deserve nothing less. And I know that's what leads to successful wedding receptions.  So that's how I proceed, from the very first contact, on through the planning phase, and right up to and including their wedding day. It's a pathway down the street of communication. Not a one-way street. Not a dead-end street. A two-way street. That's the way to get you where you want to go if you're planning a wedding. 

Again, I am NOT suggesting that anyone who contacts me is obligated to hire me. Far from it. All I'm suggesting is that once someone has opened up a dialogue with me, we should have an actual dialogue! In fact, it's that dialogue that helps them -- and me -- determine if we're a good fit for each other, or not. 

Fortunately, the majority of wedding couples DO follow-up after their initial inquiry and DO end up talking with me or meeting me in person -- and enough of those end up hiring me to keep my calendar pretty full. But still, I find myself pondering all those who leave me hanging after I took the trouble to respond to their inquiry.

Goodbye, Wedding Season

As October draws to a close, so does the "wedding season." The months ahead are traditionally the slow months for those of us in the wedding industry.

According to a survey conducted by The Wedding Report, nearly three-quarters  of weddings (73.5%) take place in the six months from May to October. Only one in four weddings (26.5%) occur during the other six months.

In recent years, September and October have surpassed May and June as the peak wedding months, according to The Wedding Report.

The least popular months for weddings? January and February, followed by December and March.

One take-away for brides: If you're budget conscious but still want to hire the best quality vendors, schedule your wedding in the off-season, when many wedding vendors offer their services at off-peak discount rates.

_____

Addendum to the E #1 Question

Just to clarify my October 1 post which emphasizes the importance of a hiring a DJ who subscribes to one of the professional music services (such as TM Studio's Prime Cuts or HitDisc, or Promo Only or ERG).

I don't mean to suggest you should hire a DJ who gets ALL his music from those sources. Those services are where professional DJs keep up-to-date with the latest hits each month and each year -- and with the clean edits of those hits.

But if the new-release services are the DJ's ONLY source of music, he's going to be missing much of the music you probably want for your wedding reception mix. Those services don't provide the great rock, pop, and R&B hits of the '80s, '70s, '60s, and '50s.

In other words, a subscription to these music services is necessary, but NOT sufficient, for a wedding DJ's comprehensive music library.

The #1 Question a Bride Should Ask a DJ, But Doesn't Know to Ask

Wedding couples sometimes aren't sure what questions to ask a DJ they're considering hiring

Some of them rely on lists of "what to ask" found in bridal magazine or wedding websites.

In either case, they almost never ask the following crucial question:

"WHICH MUSIC SERVICE DO YOU SUBSCRIBE TO"?

If your prospective DJ can't answer that question or doesn't know what you're talking about, don't hire him.

You see, the way all professional DJs (and I do mean professional, as opposed to hobbyist DJs) keep up with all the latest music is by subscribing to one of the three professional music services that supply DJs -- and radio stations, I might add -- with weekly or monthly copies of all the hot hits (be they pop, rock, R&B, hiphop, country, or other genre).

The three are TM Studios (producers of the Prime Cuts and HitDisc series), Promo Only, and ERG Music.

These companies, which are unknown to the general public, provide their weekly or monthly updates on CD or via mp3 download. They offer various packages covering specific genres or the best of all genres. Exactly which one one your DJ gets isn't so important, as long as he subscribes to one of them.

Without a subscription to one of these professional music services, it is virtually impossible for a DJ to keep up with ALL the latest hits on an ongoing, consistent basis.

Furthermore, these services provide the CLEAN, radio-edit versions of these songs.

I don't have to tell you how important that is for a DJ playing any sort of hiphop at a wedding reception. What you might not realize is how important it is no matter what genre he's playing. (For example, did you know that James Blunt drops the "F-bomb" in his pop-rock ballad "You're Beautiful"? Probably not, because it's deleted from the version you hear on the radio. But if your DJ is using the retail CD version, you're in for a surprise!).

If you're a bride or groom or wedding planner, you've probably never heard of TM Studio's Prime Cuts or HitDiscs, or Promo Only, or ERG Music. And that's my point, exactly. These are tools known only to, and used only by, professionals. (In fact, I had to sign an affidavit stating that I am a professional DJ in order to subscribe subscription, because these services are NOT licensed for the general public).

Can We See You Perform?

Sometimes I am asked by prospective clients whether they can drop by and see me perform at a wedding.

The answer is no. Here's why.

REASON #1:

It's not respectful of my current clients. You wouldn't want strangers dropping in on YOUR wedding, would you? Nor would you want the DJ's attention at YOUR wedding diverted by his interest in a visitor to whom he's trying to sell his services.

REASON #2:

It's not actually that helpful to prospective clients.

If you dropped by just for a few minutes, what would you learn? If you came by during dancing, you wouldn't observe how I conduct myself making announcements. If you came during dinner/background music, you wouldn't get a sense of the dancing. Yet if you stayed long enough to observe me in action during different phases of the reception, you'd be substantially intruding on someone else's private event (see Reason #1).

Besides, since I customize my services to fit the tastes and desires of each wedding couple, what I say or don't say, play or don't play, do or don't do at YOUR wedding will differ from what I say, play, or do at someone else's wedding. You might walk in on my other wedding just as I play a song you dislike -- a song which I'm playing because THAT wedding client requested it.

Unfair Prices

In yesterday's (July 16) entry, I discussed how DJs might fairly come up with a quote for your wedding.

Today, I'll address the unfortunate case of DJs who vary their quotes based on illegitimate, unfair factors.

Most flagrant is the practice of pricing your event based on subjective factors reflecting what the DJ thinks you're willing to pay.

This sort of DJ may quote a higher price to eager-sounding callers than to those who seem cautious. He might charge more or less depending on how expensive your reception site is. Referrals from high-end photographers or planners may trigger high-end quotes. Even your home address may factor in his calculations -- he'll guess your level of affluence from where you live, and price accordingly.

Some DJs are so blatant about this, they'll even ask "What is your budget? How much would you like to spend?"

Such inconsistent pricing is UNFAIR, plain and simple. How would you feel if you found out your DJ company was charging some other client a lower price for a similar event on a similar date?

My advice: work with DJ companies -- and other vendors -- whose fee structures are clear, transparent, and objective. Avoid those who base their price quotes on how thick they think your wallet is!

A Fair Price

You'll find a wide range of prices for all wedding services, and DJs are no exception.

In a future post, I'll discuss why some DJs are more expensive than others.

Here, I want to address why the same DJ might charge a different price for your wedding than he does for another.

Legitimate factors in a DJ's pricing structure include:

• What month is your wedding? Fees for peak months like May, June, September, and October trend higher than those for off-peak months like November, January, and February.

• What day is your wedding? Most weddings are on Saturdays. Many DJs offer a discount for Thursday, Friday, or Sunday weddings.

• How many hours will the DJ perform? Many DJs quote a base rate for a 4-hour performance, with extra hourly rates for "overtime."

• How much equipment is needed? Your reception might require the DJ to set up multiple sound systems in different places -- for example, a cocktail hour outside the main ballroom.

• Are you using the DJ for the ceremony? This is an extra task that might trigger an extra fee.

• Does your event require travel outside the DJ's local region?

All the above are LEGITIMATE pricing considerations. They are based on OBJECTIVE factors that reflect supply-and-demand and the amount of work involved.

Unfortunately, some DJs vary their prices based on ILLEGITIMATE factors. We'll discuss those in tomorrow's post.

MEET YOUR DJ -- NOT YOUR SALESPERSON

When you call a DJ company, who are you talking to: the person who will actually DJ and MC your wedding, or a salesperson?

If you call one of the large entertainment companies, you are most definitely talking with a salesperson, NOT with your DJ. You can rest assured that person is good. Very good. At salesmanship.

He'll tell you he has the perfect DJ for you. But unless you meet your actual DJ in advance, you're don't really know what you're getting. Even if you select the specific DJ in advance, the contact may well reserve the company's right to switch the DJ for any reason. You might get an orange instead of an apple. Worse, you might get a lemon.

If you call a medium-size DJ company with a small roster of DJs, the person you speak to is likely also one of the working DJs. You should clarify whether he will be your DJ, or whether one of his associates (an employee or independent contractor) will be assigned to you. If the latter, check out the associate in advance. Remember, the actual DJ that performs at your wedding will be the one who makes or breaks your event.

Now, if you call a single-DJ operation (like mine!), you know from the get-go that the person you're talking with and meeting with is the person who'll be with you every step of the way, from the advance planning right up to the last dance of your reception.

Back-Up Equipment

One of the standard questions wedding guides suggest brides ask prospective DJs is "Do you carry back-up equipment with you to each event"?

Good question. The only problem is, every DJ you interview will answer "Yes" regardless of whether it's true.

I arrive at each event in a full-size Chevy van chock-full with speakers, mixers, CD players, microphones, cables and cords, and various accessories. I have extras of everything with me on-hand -- not back in my home/office.

But I often see DJs arrive at events in a regular-size passenger car stuffed to the brim. There is no possible way for back-up equipment to fit in such a vehicle. There's barely enough room for one set of everything, no possible room for extras.

Does it matter? Most of the time, no.

But what if your wedding is the one in 100 at which a major piece of equipment malfunctions? Then you'll sorely wish that your DJ was speaking the truth when he told you he carries backup equipment.

Of course, the DJ who didn't invest in a larger vehicle and all that extra equipment has lower expenses, so he can afford to charge you less. You get what you pay for.

Why Your DJ Shouldn't Stand Still

You might think that a DJ's place at a reception is always behind the table where his equipment is set up.

Most of the time, that's where the DJ should be.

But not ALL the time.

First, there is no way the DJ can ensure the music sounds just right -- not too loud and not too soft -- from behind his table. He needs to occasionally walk the room and check out the sound from where the guests are. Believe me, things sound much different in front of the speakers than behind them.

No, his initial sound-check before the guests arrive isn't enough. It's necessary but not sufficient. Sound travels differently in a room full of people than in an empty room.

Second, the DJ's role at a wedding is not merely to press the "play" button for the next song. He also serves as MC and behind-the-scenes coordinator.

There are times he needs to slip away from his post and touch base with the banquet captain, site manager, photographer, or even the bride and groom (or their coordinator if they've hired one). There are quite a few points throughout the reception where the DJ's checking with or giving a heads-up to someone can make the difference between a smooth-running event and a snafu.

Experienced DJs are great at instinctively knowing how much time they have before the next song -- they scoot out and quickly monitor the sound on the floor or quickly speak to the banquet manager and get back in time to start the next tune.

CEREMONY -- LIVE MUSIC OR DJ?

Even though I work as a DJ, I would never criticize anyone's decision to hire live musicians to perform at their ceremony. Live music sounds wonderful. Besides, many of my best friends are live musicians!

However, if you are having your ceremony at the same site as your reception, there are some advantages to having your DJ provide the ceremony music.

(1) You'll save money. Your DJ may charge a bit extra for the additional time, equipment and preparation, but it's still going to cost you less than hiring live musicians.

(2) Your DJ can typically also provide microphones, if you need them, for the officiant and/or for the readers. So you'll get amplified sound for the voices as well as for the music.

(3) Your DJ can provide a wide variety of music for the ceremony in whatever style or styles you'd like. For example, if you'd like your classical music for your processional but want to switch to rock&roll or R&B for your recessional, your DJ can easily do that. If you want a completely different genre for the prelude music, your DJ can easily provide that. And so on.

Before hiring a DJ to play at your ceremony, make sure he's had experience with ceremonies, not just with receptions. This is not a time and place for an inexperienced DJ to wing it, or to learn on the job!