Peter Merry, Wedding Guru

I spent two very fruitful days this past week (November 11 & 12) attending an intensive, advanced workshop for wedding entertainers led by Peter Merry -- truly one of the smartest, most successful, and dedicated people I have ever met in the wedding industry.

His approach combines creative ideas and hard work -- including lots of advance planning -- to raise the bar for wedding DJs (in fact, he prefers the term "wedding entertainment director" to signify how much more a professional wedding "DJ" does than just "spin music").

When it comes to creating weddings that are more fun, more memorable, and more personal, lots of wedding professionals talk the talk, but Peter really and truly walks the walk -- and he's leading others like me down that same path.

If you are a wedding DJ, I recommend you attend one of Peter's "Professional Process" workshops.

If you are a bride or groom, I urge you to buy Peter's book "The Best Wedding Reception ... Ever".
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The Marbecca "Love Story" - A Special Touch for Your Reception

For couples looking to add a very personal touch to their wedding reception, one special service a properly trained DJ can offer you is to read aloud just prior to your First Dance the story of how you met and fell in love and got engaged.

This concept was originated in 1989 by the acclaimed West Coast DJ/entertainment team of Mark and Rebecca Ferrell, who crafted and refined it over a decade before offering workshops to teach the concept to other professionals. Mark and Rebecca call it “The Love Story.” When I do it, I simply refer to it as a “personalized” or “enhanced” introduction, but the concept and method is the same I learned directly from them at a Marbecca Method Love Story workshop I attended in August 2005.

One key to the success of this concept is that the bride and groom separately share their love story in their own words with their DJ in advance, answering a series of questions he asks each of them. Then, the DJ takes the two sets of answers and edits them into a script to be read aloud at your reception.

This presentation becomes a very unique and memorable moment during your reception. It can be sentimental and/or humorous – usually, both – and it never fails to get a good reaction from your guests, who enjoy being “let in on” your personal love story.

After years working with this concept, Mark and Rebecca found that many DJs who attempted to emulate it simply lacked the training, knowledge, or writing and speaking skills to do it right. And done poorly, it can be boring or even embarrassing.

If you’re using a DJ who’s a Marbecca workshop graduate, consider asking him to include the Love Story at your reception. If you’re a DJ looking to upgrade your skill sets and offer a unique service to wedding couples, consider attending a future Marbecca workshop.

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A Rockin' Recessional

Here's an idea that I think is fun, and that ends your ceremony with a bit of a kick.

Lots of brides and grooms who choose traditional classical music for most of their ceremony -- the prelude and processional music -- switch to a rock'n'roll, R&B, or pop song for their recessional. The recessional, of course, is the song played just after the officiant pronounces you husband and wife, and you walk together back up the aisle, away from the altar.

Here are just some examples of songs for a rockin' recessional:

• "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now" by McFadden & Whitehead
• "All You Need Is Love" by The Beatles
• "Beautiful Day" by U2
• "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Queen
• "Happy Together" by The Turtles
• "Higher and Higher" by Jackie Wilson
• "Hold On, I'm Coming" by Sam & Dave
• "I Got You (I Feel Good)" by James Brown
• "I Walk The Line" by Johnny Cash
• "I'm a Believer" by The Monkees OR Smash Mouth
• "It's Too Late To Turn Back Now" by Cornelius Bros. & Sister Rose
• "Let's Stay Together" by Al Green
• "Signed Sealed Delivered" by Stevie Wonder
• "With This Ring" by The Platters

With their lyrics about the joys of love, these songs suit the moment when you've just been presented as husband and wife, and have shared that first married kiss. And with their upbeat tempo, they signal to the guests that, with the ceremony over, the party is about to begin!

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Guest Book Idea

Here's an alternative to the traditional, somewhat stodgy guestbook for your wedding reception.

Instead of just setting out a guestbook, you can provide each guest (or each couple) an individual "guest page" which contains prompts for them to write more than just their names and "best wishes." At the end of your reception, you collect all the pages and compile them into a keepsake book.

There's a company that makes such a product. It's The Guestbook Store.

Here's how they describe this:

Rather than a book of autographs likely to be stored away, these non-traditional guestbooks personalize your event and capture guests' memories and heartfelt wishes of your special day.

Each guest at your event will receive their very own guestbook page to fill out and share special messages at their leisure. After your event, simply place the completed pages in one of our many guestbook album designs and enjoy!

I like this idea. All too often, at wedding receptions, I notice that many guests don't even notice the guestbook. And even if they do, they can't think of anything unique to write. And this is true even if I'm asked to make an announcement reminding the guests there is a guestbook sitting out there awaiting signatures.

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BEST WEDDING RECEPTION BOOK

Recommended reading for couples planning a wedding: a book called The Best Wedding Reception ... Ever .

Not a modest title, and the author, noted California-based wedding expert Peter Merry , is not shy about tooting his own horn.

But there's an old saying: It ain't braggin' if it's true.

And when it comes to making your wedding reception unique, personalized, and memorable, few if any wedding entertainers have devoted the time and thought to this that Merry has.

Indeed, I'd recommend his book not only to wedding couples but to professionals working in the wedding industry. I myself have attended one of Merry's workshops for professional DJs and was much impressed . . . so much so that I'll be attending another later this year.

The book can be ordered at Amazon.com or directly from Merry's website.

A TOUCH OF YOUR HONEYMOON AT YOUR RECEPTION

Tell your DJ where you're honeymooning. He may be able to suggest some music to evoke your honeymoon at your reception.

For example, music during your cocktail hour can be themed to reflect your honeymoon destination. Hawaiian music for a Hawaiian honeymoon; reggae, soca, or calypso for a Caribbean honeymoon; Celtic music for a honeymoon in the British Isles; beach music for a honeymoon by the ocean.

Or how about a song related to your honeymoon for your last dance or second-to-last dance? I recently DJ'd for a couple who were honeymooning in Egypt; for their last dance we chose "You Belong To Me" because it starts with the lyrics "See the pyramids along the Nile ... " (We also might have used "Walk Like an Egyptian.")

Even if you can't think of a musical connection to your honeymoon, your DJ -- if he's a music expert, as he should be -- may be able to suggest one. Just another way of adding a personalized, unique touch to YOUR wedding reception.

CLINKING GLASSES -- AN ALTERNATIVE

By tradition, when the guests loudly clink their glasses together at a reception, the newlywed couple must kiss. In recent years, this ritual has fallen out of favor, but it's still common. It can be fun, but some brides and grooms prefer not to be put on the spot repeatedly, and some simply tire of all that clinking.

Here's a fun alternative: If a group of guests want the bride and groom to kiss, they must stand and sing a snippet from a love song. It can be any kind of love song -- rock or R&B, new or old, romantic or silly. Sometimes the bride and groom require that lyrics include the word "love" or "kiss."

Guests can be informed of the sing-for-a-kiss routine by written notices at the dining tables or by a DJ announcement at the start of dinner.

One side benefit is it gets the guests at each table talking -- and usually laughing -- as they try to come up with a mutually agreeable song with which to regale the bride and groom. And it's fun for everybody else to hear what songs the others have chosen, and to take delight in how well -- or how badly -- they sing.

I first heard this done at a wedding I DJ'd a few years ago; I hadn't even heard of it before. Just as I share my ideas and experiences with my clients, I learn from them as well!