DANCING CONTINUOUSLY, OR WITH BREAKS?

Some wedding couples prefer scheduling ALL the special moments before general dancing starts. In this format, once the dance floor opens, there is nothing but uninterrupted dancing until the end of the evening.

Personally, I don't recommend that. I recommend scheduling ONE break roughly halfway through the dancing period -- typically after about one hour of dancing. During that break, we typically do the cake-cutting and bouquet toss. This break is also a suitable time for any additional toasts or thank-you remarks from the bride and groom. The idea is to have one, but not more than one, break in the dancing -- and group together a few special moments during that break.

On the other hand, I've DJ'd at some weddings where the schedule calls for multiple segments of general dancing -- such as a short dance set before dinner, or a dance set between the first and second courses or dinner -- followed by the standard, longer dancing period after dinner.

Personally, I don't recommend that either. It seems a bit herky-jerky to me. The guests are invited to take their seats and eat their salad, then they're told to get up and dance for a time, then asked to be seated again, and so on. I think the energy flow works best when guests are allowed enjoy their dinner in a leisurely fashion, perhaps with an occasional diversion such as toasts toward the end of the meal.

Also, a dance segment during the meal requires the DJ to raise the volume of the music for that time, which might not be appreciated by those guests who remain at their tables during that between-courses dance segment.

RODRIGO & GABRIELLA ... and FOO FIGHTERS UNPLUGGED

In my August 17 post I mentioned how my clients sometimes bring to my attention wonderful music that I hadn't heard before.

Two recent examples come to mind.

A couple getting married this September told me they'd like to hear some Rodrigo Y Gabriela as during dinner. I must admit, I wasn't familiar with them, but I quickly filled that gap in my musical database. It turns out Rodrigo & Gabriela are an extraordinary guitar duo -- from Mexico but based in Ireland -- who play a fiery, edgy blend of Central and South American and world music. They're like a stripped-down, acoustic version of the Gipsy Kings. Wonderful stuff, and very suitable if you want something a bit different during cocktails or dinner.

A couple whose wedding was earlier this month wanted the Foo Fighters' "Everlong" for their First Dance. One doesn't normally think of that noted grunge-rock group as a source of First Dance material, but this couple had come across a lovely acoustic renditon of the song. It took some digging to find a downloadable version, but after getting it, I not only played it as their First Dance but also added that song, with its poignant, emotionally-charged lyrics, to my list of suggested First Dance tunes for future clients.

MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE - A TWO-WAY STREET

It's often said that the best teachers don't just teach; they learn from their students.

Likewise, the best DJ's learn from their clients. The best DJ's understand that sharing knowledge of music is a two-way street.

I'm something of an expert in music, but I didn't get that way by sticking to what I already knew. Over the years, I've considerably expanded the scope of my knowledge (and vast collection) of music. Some of my most interesting discoveries have come from my clients.

When I meet with a wedding couple and go over their musical requests, I don't dismiss or ignore any artists or songs I'm unfamiliar with. In fact, one of the first things I do upon returning to my office after a planning meeting is to check these out -- read up about them, listen to excerpts, and download them (or order the CD). That way, I am able to satisfy ALL of that couple's musical needs -- not just those I already know or have. And that way, I constantly expand the musical repertoire I can offer to future clients.

MY KIND OF BLOG

Publishing a blog is increasingly common in the wedding industry.

The vast majority of these blogs

-- showcase events the vendor worked at;

-- contain beaucoup beautiful photographs of these events; and

-- give "props" to other vendors at the event, with links to these vendors' websites.

I'm not knocking those kinds of wedding blogs. But mine's a bit different. The purpose of mine is to provide practical tips and advice to wedding couples (and to my fellow wedding professionals). And to do so in short and pithy posts that are quick and easy to read.

That's why you don't see frequent descriptions of the reception sites I've worked at, photos of my wedding clients, or lots of links to other vendors. (I might do this sort of thing on occasion, but it's not the primary focus of my blog).

THE GRAND ENTRANCE - DON'T BLOCK THE VIEW

In yesterday's post, I mentioned that during a Grand Entrance, the people being introduced can immediately proceed to their seats or can remain standing on the dance floor, forming a sort-of "welcoming line" for the bride & groom's entrance.

If you choose the latter, and if you are doing your First Dance immediately after the Grand Entrance, make sure that the wedding party, while standing, is not blocking the guests' view of your First Dance.

For example, say your guests are seated to the left and right of the dance floor, with the head table or sweetheart table placed along the far edge of the dance floor (by far edge, I mean the edge further from the ballroom entrance). In that case, have the wedding party stand by that far edge -- not on the left or right edges of the dance floor. Again, this is just one example.

The key thing is, if the wedding party remains standing during your First Dance, position them so that everybody can watch your First Dance (rather than staring at the backs of the wedding party).

THE GRAND ENTRANCE - REMAIN STANDING OR SIT?

During a typical Grand Entrance, the DJ announces the wedding party and the married couple, as they enter main ballroom where guests are already seated.

There are lots of options concerning the Grand Entrance -- ways to personalize it -- and these will be discussed in other posts.

Here, I want to pinpoint something that sometimes isn't clarified until the last minute, and sometimes decided on the spot rather than considered beforehand.

It's simply this: After they are introduced, should each member of the wedding party proceed to his or her seat, or should they remain standing on the dance floor, forming a sort-of "welcoming line" for the bride & groom's entrance?

Either option is fine. But what's not so fine is to have your wedding party, as they're about to enter, confused and unsure as to just where to walk and whether they should stand or sit after they make their entrance. I've seen this many times -- that's why I mention it here!

So talk this over in advance with your DJ, your wedding planner, and/or your site coordinator and tell them your decision. That way, after getting everyone lined up, your DJ or planner/coordinator can clearly explain to the wedding party how to proceed during the Grand Entrance.

THE BIG PICTURE

You can find a lot of practical advice about all the details involved in wedding planning. You can immerse yourself in the particulars of floral arrangements, music selections, honeymoon destinations, and wedding dresses. You can refine your guest list, decide if your meal should be seated or buffet, determine who walks up the aisle in your processional and in what order. You can pick your first dance and last dance, and many of the songs in between.

But while attending to these -- and many more -- specifics, don't forget THE BIG PICTURE.

When it comes to your wedding day, the big picture has to do with love ... with celebration ... with dear friends and family.

So if you're feeling too much stress when planning your wedding -- if "sweating the details" has you breaking out in a sweat -- try to relax, take a break, and bathe yourself in the refreshing joyfulness of it all.

Can We See You Perform?

Sometimes I am asked by prospective clients whether they can drop by and see me perform at a wedding.

The answer is no. Here's why.

REASON #1:

It's not respectful of my current clients. You wouldn't want strangers dropping in on YOUR wedding, would you? Nor would you want the DJ's attention at YOUR wedding diverted by his interest in a visitor to whom he's trying to sell his services.

REASON #2:

It's not actually that helpful to prospective clients.

If you dropped by just for a few minutes, what would you learn? If you came by during dancing, you wouldn't observe how I conduct myself making announcements. If you came during dinner/background music, you wouldn't get a sense of the dancing. Yet if you stayed long enough to observe me in action during different phases of the reception, you'd be substantially intruding on someone else's private event (see Reason #1).

Besides, since I customize my services to fit the tastes and desires of each wedding couple, what I say or don't say, play or don't play, do or don't do at YOUR wedding will differ from what I say, play, or do at someone else's wedding. You might walk in on my other wedding just as I play a song you dislike -- a song which I'm playing because THAT wedding client requested it.

BEST WEDDING RECEPTION BOOK

Recommended reading for couples planning a wedding: a book called The Best Wedding Reception ... Ever .

Not a modest title, and the author, noted California-based wedding expert Peter Merry , is not shy about tooting his own horn.

But there's an old saying: It ain't braggin' if it's true.

And when it comes to making your wedding reception unique, personalized, and memorable, few if any wedding entertainers have devoted the time and thought to this that Merry has.

Indeed, I'd recommend his book not only to wedding couples but to professionals working in the wedding industry. I myself have attended one of Merry's workshops for professional DJs and was much impressed . . . so much so that I'll be attending another later this year.

The book can be ordered at Amazon.com or directly from Merry's website.

"DO NOT PLAY"

What the DJ doesn't play can be almost as important as what he does play. Your wedding DJ should respect any "do not play" list of songs you provide him.

In fact, your wedding DJ should ask you in advance to provide him with your "do not play" list. He can even help you by mentioning examples of songs other clients have vetoed. If you're not strongly opposed to any songs, that's fine. But it's your wedding; you should have the option of excluding songs you really don't want.

There's an important additional step that some DJ's overlook. After receiving a "do not play" list, he should ask you: "Should I not play these EVEN IF requested? Or would it be okay to play any of these IF a guest requests it?"

This clarification is important. You'd be surprised how often the very song that you dislike, or think inappropriate, is the very one your Aunt Margaret or your Cousin Bob comes up to the DJ and requests! So you'll want to instruct your DJ in advance how to handle the request of a "do not play" song.